To Say Goodbye
by Duskwraithe
Summary: Slash: Frodo wonders whether to go on without Sam. Based on a part in FOTR.


Okay this is my first real attempt at Frodo/Sam. If anything it was a lot of fun to write and I thought the ending was really sweet. Please tell me. BTW anonymous reviewers are nothing but cowards (but I still appreciate your opinion) and no offense meant in the epilogue. I own nothing.  
  
Frodo stood at the edge of the river, the ring cradled in his hand. He could hear Gandalf's words in Moria echoing in his mind.  
  
"...All you have to do is to decide what to do with the time given to you."  
  
But I couldn't go on all by myself, he thought. Sam would be heartbroken. Strider's words could not alone mend a heart as devoted as Sam's. And what of Frodo's heart? He'd always hidden it, but Frodo was twice as devoted to him, yet in a different sense. He loved him. Frodo couldn't understand why, but he loved Samwise Gamgee.  
  
If Frodo left, he mightn't ever see Sam again. Frodo would die somewhere in Mordor, hopefully after the Ring was destroyed, and Sam... Sam would go back home to the Shire and marry Rosie, they would have all sorts of hobbit children and be happy. And Frodo would never get to tell Sam he loved him.  
  
It was a selfish thing to do, to tell someone you love them when they already love another. But Frodo didn't think he could leave even if he'd wanted to; not without hearing Sam say his name one more time.  
  
But what if Sam loved him as well, and Frodo went off to die in Mordor and leave Sam utterly desolate? And if he stayed? The whole world would fall, because of him and his selfishness. Whatever choice he made would be selfish.  
  
Without warning the bushes behind Frodo crashed into life, and there was his beloved. Frodo's wish came true.  
  
"Mr. Frodo!"  
  
Another tear rushed down Frodo's face as he turned to Sam, who looked at the ring in Frodo's hand.  
  
Sam choked out quietly, "You're leaving, aren't you, Mr. Frodo?"  
  
Frodo snuffled and looked down. He didn't want Sam to see him like this. He tried to make his voice sound normal as he replied.  
  
"I believe it's up to you, Sam."  
  
"Up to me, sir?"  
  
"Yes... do you want me to stay?"  
  
"O' course I don't, Mr. Frodo. That ring there's got to go back to Mordor and I reckon you're the only one who can take it."  
  
Frodo's fear was confirmed. Sam did not love him. Sam might care for him, but a brother's friendship wasn't enough anymore. Frodo nodded, wiped his face yet only succeeded in spreading the tears around. He turned away and made to get in the boat.  
  
"Mr. Frodo..." His Sam was calling to him. He stopped but did not look.  
  
"Yes, Sam?"  
  
He put his hand on Frodo's shoulder. Frodo jumped and turned around. "What's the matter? You're acting all strange. Jumpy-like, and all depressed. Is there anything I can be helping with?"  
  
"No, Sam, you can't help me now. If you want me to go, I'll go then. I just... don't know how to say goodbye."  
  
Sam tilted Frodo's face so he could look him in the eye. "Now, who's saying anything about goodbye?"  
  
Frodo's face, weighed down by love and sorrow, lit up with joy and fear to hope. "But I'm leaving... you didn't want me to stay..."  
  
"No, Mr. Frodo, I'm coming with you! You think I'd be left behind just like the others?"  
  
"Sam, no! It's too dangerous. Too hopeless. I don't think there's any chance of getting home after this."  
  
"It sounds mighty lonesome to go all by yourself, Mr. Frodo."  
  
Frodo's internal battle was being lost. "Oh, Sam, I can't let you do this..."  
  
"I would rather go with you and die in your arms than go home now and never see you again."  
  
Frodo was speechless. It was almost as if his Sam loved him as much as he did, but did he? He was so close to Sam now. He reached out and touched his face with a slightly trembling hand. It was all he could do to whisper,  
  
"I love you."  
  
He was completely thrown off guard. "I don't rightly know what to say, Mr Frodo..." And he didn't. For Sam it was as if all his wildest dreams had suddenly come true. For Frodo, it was the same.  
  
Frodo simply said, "Sam. Kiss me. Kiss me and don't let go until we're gagged and half suffocated."  
  
Sam then smiled a big slow smile. "Sounds good to me!" He took Frodo's perfect tearstained face in both hands and softly put his lips to Frodo's. As Frodo took in Sam's mouth with a hopeless vigour, he shamelessly plundered it with twice the hunger of a parched man in the desert pursuing the distant glimmer of sweet water. Sam replied with a deeper passion that could have come only from years of faithfully devoted, waiting love.  
  
They didn't let go for a long time, but when they did, they knew they had the strength to not only go to Mordor but make it out alive, because they had more than a sliver of a fool's hope. They had each other. 


End file.
